Live and Learn

Shit happens, everything changes. 

Nobody promised a bed of roses without thorns. Nobody ever had a rainbow without rain. You can't separate the bad from the good. We all have certain people we don't want to lose, or people we wish we could hold onto. Most of us spend a proportion of our lives finding the right people and trying to establish lasting friendships with them. But, seldom do we succeed. And other times, it's not failure to recognise people as much as it is an opportunity to become wiser and learn lessons that you wouldn't have otherwise. 

We meet by chance, come close by choice and separate because of lack of choice. They don't lie when they say it takes longer to build relationships than it takes to destroy them. Special friend, special connection, special someone; isn't special just too overrated? Maybe, maybe not. From the moment you know someone to the moment you know them inside out, the entire experience is like magic when you let yourself loose and allow them to visit your world without accounting for trespass. Sooner than later, there's a growing affinity and a sense of belongingness that can cost you your self-esteem if it isn't mutual. Sure, you realise what it is like to raise a hand to exchange a five with someone who doesn't reciprocate out of ignorance or arrogance, as the case maybe. We don't want to force the other person into something they won't voluntarily do because then, it will be like taking their hand and forcefully banging against your own. Who's the fool, my dear? 

The person around whom your life once revolved becomes the very reason for bringing it to a halt. No, not the life but the process where he or she was the centre. The good things become history and we cease to share the same connection. It all vanishes into thin air. Poof! And gone. Below-mentioned are few things I've learned in the recent past and implementing them might prove helpful for some if not all. 

1. Reciprocate
Love for love and hate for hate. Nobody is here to take hate in return for love. We all enjoy attention, care, affection but some of us forget that there's a need to reciprocate in the same manner. And if it doesn't come naturally to you, you gotta call it off because banging the head against a wall hasn't done anyone any good. 

2. Refrain. Restrain. Restrict.

Sometimes, you have to refrain from doing things that do you more harm than good. Sometimes, you have to restrain the amount of effort you put in something or towards someone. 

Sometimes, you have to restrict yourself from taking such steps that put your self-respect at stake.

Kabhi kabhi izzat bachane ke liye mann maarna padhta hai.

3. Learn the lesson 
If something doesn't work out, remember it is just another lesson. Don't stick to failure. Learn from it. And rise. 

4. Keep your chin, head and standards (and heels) high 
Don't let anything or anyone bring you down. That's probably the worst kind of impact something can have on an individual. If a person is too dumb to not acknowledge, be smart enough to leave. And do not worry because it's their loss, not yours. 

5. There's no 5. Because I ain't no full-proof guide to healthy relationships or successful careers. I only talk from personal experience. So, that's all there is to it. Stop chasing people. Chase dreams instead. Dreams will take you places, not people. I quote, 'Give as much as you can, until saturation point is attained. And then, give nothing at all.'

Live and learn.