Skip to main content

Live and Learn

Shit happens, everything changes. 
Nobody promised a bed of roses without thorns. Nobody ever had a rainbow without rain. You can't separate the bad from the good. We all have certain people we don't want to lose, or people we wish we could hold onto. Most of us spend a proportion of our lives finding the right people and trying to establish lasting friendships with them. But, seldom do we succeed. And other times, it's not failure to recognise people as much as it is an opportunity to become wiser and learn lessons that you wouldn't have otherwise. 
We meet by chance, come close by choice and separate because of lack of choice. They don't lie when they say it takes longer to build relationships than it takes to destroy them. Special friend, special connection, special someone; isn't special just too overrated? Maybe, maybe not. From the moment you know someone to the moment you know them inside out, the entire experience is like magic when you let yourself loose and allow them to visit your world without accounting for trespass. Sooner than later, there's a growing affinity and a sense of belongingness that can cost you your self-esteem if it isn't mutual. Sure, you realise what it is like to raise a hand to exchange a five with someone who doesn't reciprocate out of ignorance or arrogance, as the case maybe. We don't want to force the other person into something they won't voluntarily do because then, it will be like taking their hand and forcefully banging against your own. Who's the fool, my dear? 

The person around whom your life once revolved becomes the very reason for bringing it to a halt. No, not the life but the process where he or she was the centre. The good things become history and we cease to share the same connection. It all vanishes into thin air. Poof! And gone. Below-mentioned are few things I've learned in the recent past and implementing them might prove helpful for some if not all. 

1. Reciprocate

Love for love and hate for hate. Nobody is here to take hate in return for love. We all enjoy attention, care, affection but some of us forget that there's a need to reciprocate in the same manner. And if it doesn't come naturally to you, you gotta call it off because banging the head against a wall hasn't done anyone any good. 



2. Refrain. Restrain. Restrict.
Sometimes, you have to refrain from doing things that do you more harm than good. Sometimes, you have to restrain the amount of effort you put in something or towards someone. 
Sometimes, you have to restrict yourself from taking such steps that put your self-respect at stake.
Kabhi kabhi izzat bachane ke liye mann maarna padhta hai.

3. Learn the lesson 
If something doesn't work out, remember it is just another lesson. Don't stick to failure. Learn from it. And rise. 


4. Keep your chin, head and standards (and heels) high 
Don't let anything or anyone bring you down. That's probably the worst kind of impact something can have on an individual. If a person is too dumb to not acknowledge, be smart enough to leave. And do not worry because it's their loss, not yours. 

5. There's no 5. Because I ain't no full-proof guide to healthy relationships or successful careers. I only talk from personal experience. So, that's all there is to it. Stop chasing people. Chase dreams instead. Dreams will take you places, not people. I quote, 'Give as much as you can, until saturation point is attained. And then, give nothing at all.'

Live and learn.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What's in a Date?

Okay so today we celebrate the last sequential date in this century, 11-12-13.  It's the last date with consecutive numbers to appear in the 21st century, but why the hype?  Did they forget that every damn date in this century will never repeat itself?  Or is this just another money-minting criteria adopted by hotels, hospitals, bars, wedding planners and pandit ji's to brainwash people's minds and inform them about the importance of this one date?  Why the craze to tie the knot on this so called 'auspicious' date? Why the craze to deliver babies on this day? Are you going to tell me that its a 'lucky' day and will make your marriage last a year more than mine? Or your baby will be born an actor or IITian? Or probably that the food at restaurants will be better today?  Hell, no. If love doesn't see person or time, why does it see dates? Ladies, If babies born on other dates can become Shahrukh Khan and Sachin Tendulkar, why the fuss about paining your bo...

Hope isn't just a word, unless it is shattered.

They say hope can lead to miracles, turn the impossible into possible but can it make the dead man alive? They say hope can be your umbrella in the downpour, they say hope can fix the leaks. But can it fix the leaks in your heart, the tears that kiss your cheeks?  They say hope can bring merry, they say hope can make you rich. But can it bring you joy?  They say hope fulfils desires, they say hope can win against hope. But can you hope against the despondence?  They say hope isn't just a word, really?  They say its more than a word.  Of course, it's a way of life.  Unless. Unless it is shattered. 

..I Let Him Go

Tonight is no different.   I twist and turn in bed like every other night.   The events of the day run a recap through my subconscious mind.   Nothing special. I twist and turn as grief takes over. One quiet sob. And another. And another. Before I know it, my sister is awake, holding me tight, asking me what's wrong. She's 15. How is she supposed to understand the so-called problems of adulthood? What do I explain her?   So she just holds me close while I cry the heck out of me.   It's not the kind of crying that babies do. It's not the cry for milk or for a toy or for a video game, nor is it for a dress or a party.   It's over a guy. A lost love.   No, he wasn't my boyfriend and he never could be. There are more kinds of love that can blossom between a guy and a girl, than you think. This was one of those different kinds.   Simply because we were different - together and individually. I don't know why I cry over him but I ...