RichiPedia

Am I over him yet? Maybe. Yes. I think so. Yes. No. Maybe. Let's see.  Every time my phone beeps, my heart skips a beat in the hope that it might be him.  Every time my phone rings, part of me wants the screen to display his number which by the way I still remember by heart even though I deleted it long ago.  Every time I become part of a crowd, my eyes wander trying to land on that one face I used to cup with my hands.  But I have moved on. I am over him. Right? At least that's what I tell myself every night before I go to sleep. And quite frankly, that's what helps me sleep.  Every time I see someone as tall as him, with a complexion similar to his, and a walk that reminds me of him walking away, I almost run toward the man only to embarrass myself and apologise for the intrusion.  Sometimes I even dream about him and wake up in the middle of the night startled because I can't tell if it was a sweet dream or a nightmare.  Eve...

So, this piece came about when I was literally tired of waiting and all in vain. Hence, the title. A personal sort of writing that I cannot stop loving despite the fact it left my eyes watery for long. I love the fact how effortless this piece is without compromising with the essence of it.  Just when I thought I had lost the strength to do all-nighters,  I was introduced to the concept of time zone.  Just when I thought I was being taken for granted,  I let them take me some more. Just when I thought I was made to look desperate,  I ceased all effort to interact. Just when I thought I was losing my importance,  I tried to maintain my self esteem. Just when I thought my ego had outgrown me, I let it grow a little more. Just when I thought they didn't care any more, I became careless. Just when I thought I had been too nice,  I decided not to be any more.  Just when I thought I stopped to matter,  It stopped to matter...

Shit happens, everything changes.  Nobody promised a bed of roses without thorns. Nobody ever had a rainbow without rain.  You can't separate the bad from the good. We all have certain people we don't want to lose, or people we wish we could hold onto. Most of us spend a proportion of our lives finding the right people and trying to establish lasting friendships with them. But, seldom do we succeed. And other times, it's not failure to recognise people as much as it is an opportunity to become wiser and learn lessons that you wouldn't have otherwise.  We meet by chance, come close by choice and separate because of lack of choice. They don't lie when they say it takes longer to build relationships than it takes to destroy them. Special friend, special connection, special someone; isn't special just too overrated? Maybe, maybe not. From the moment you know someone to the moment you know them inside out, the entire experience is like magic when you let yourse...

He's a changed man now  He's a different man now  He's a new person altogether  He's not someone I knew  He's not someone I had known  He's not what I thought  He's not what I wished  He's a changed man now  He's not my man now He walks differently  He talks weirdly  He smiles strangely  He laughs rarely  He looks different  He's lost his charm  He's lost his girl  He hides his feelings  He doesn't express openly  He has a different outlook He's found a new world He's found a new girl  He's not someone I loved  He's a monster inside  He doesn't look decent  He doesn't initiate  He's a different man now  He doesn't care anymore  He doesn't want it anymore  He doesn't love anymore  He's not someone I knew  He's someone I had known  He's no more interested in me  He's no more aware of me  He's not the perfect man  He's stopped being swee...