What is ego? It is essentially the definition of you, for you
and by you. It might as well be the factor that separates you from the rest of
the world, giving you some sense of superiority over others. The roots of human
ego lie in the 3 M’s: Me, Mine and
Myself. The whole story begins right here. It is this ego that doesn’t let us
use our full potential to nurture relationships. It prevents us from doing what
is right and needful because too often, we are blinded by what we want. The ego
wants to want more than it wants to have. Here, I am mostly going to talk about
how ego transforms relationships and the effect it has on the people involved.
A lot of times, we find ourselves contemplating whether we
should initiate or wait for the other to do so. Ending up with thoughts like “Woh
bhi toh kar sakta/sakti hai. Main hi kyun karu?” But, you know what, this happens only when someone
has made us feel insignificant with their intentional or unintentional actions,
leaving us tired from dealing with their ego. So, we focus on our own ego. Because,
that’s MINE and it’s much bigger than theirs. It is this ego that doesn’t want
us to look desperate to the other person because for once, we want them to want
us and let us know thereof.
Now, there are different kinds of ego or so I like to think.
Of course, these are modifiable according to situations and people. Because,
well, human behavior is the most dynamic of them all. I remember one of my school
teachers differentiating between the male ego and the female ego. She said that
the male ego is like a huge piece of glass which can be shattered with a single throw of a stone. Whereas the female ego is like that of a horse shoe which doesn’t
retire even after it has run on the roughest terrains. That is some food for
thought, now, isn’t it?
I believe that ego takes various forms but the results are more or less the
same.
- It is not with everyone that our ego decides to show up. There are broadly two types of people we have around us; the first kind being the one whom you can send 50 messages in a row without any hesitation and then the other kind with whom you have to even choose between Hey and Hi. You get it, right? But personally, I would much rather be besharam than bewakoof.
- Then there are those people who will take offence at almost anything you say because “How could you?” and “I never thought you could/would say that to ME.” Well, the balloon you were living in has just been pricked, my friend, so let’s face it, they can and they will say things that might leave your ego wounded.
- A whole different category of people will say things to you that might hurt you or your ego in some way or the other and still expect you to be nice to them. Excuse me but I am no saint, bro. At times, they will blurt out stuff jokingly or otherwise that will make you question your existence in their life. To add to the misery, they won’t even do anything to make you feel better about it and they can be so dumb to even notice the change in your attitude and even if they do notice, they choose to ignore.
- Now this could be my favourite, “A year ago we stayed up till 3 am talking and today I don’t even know how to say Hi.” These are those kind people who treated us special at one point of time but today, it is a struggle to even get to talk to them. Maybe, ego has got to do something in this case, but I like to think that the series of events and one’s actions make it hard for the other to play along genuinely. ‘She was clinging on to hope of resurrecting what was bent, only to realize too late that it was broken.’
- ‘He tried fixing with glue and tapes what was broken, unaware that what it really took to fix was some love and affection. She tried fixing with kindness and hope, unaware that he didn't care about getting fixed.’ When you alone try to make everything work, seldom does it happen. Because at the end of the day, it takes more than MYSELF to make things work when two people are involved.
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